Ramblings of a Catholic Christian trying to be more like Him.
Please leave me messages and comments so that I too may grow and learn!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Be with me Lord

The last couple of weeks have seemed exhausting. I am entering into one of the busiest seasons for my work. I have also been working extra at my casual pool jobs to earn money for my upcoming trip. Needless to say many days I feel tired and exhausted. Yesterday was no different. Adding to the exhaustion and worry was that phone call that parents dread. My child was in pain and hurting. His friend was in pain and hurting. When something like this happens with one of my children I picture scenes from the movie The Passion. I picture the agony on Mary's face as she watched her son on His path. I picture Mary on her knees wiping up His blood. Those images comfort me to know that I'm not alone in wanting to protect my adult children.
At church I began to pray for the intercession of the Holy Spirit to guard and protect my child and his friends.  I imagine a holy light coming down to surround and protect them. After hearing our
responsorial Psalm for the weekend, "Be with me Lord when I am in trouble", I said my prayers with more fervor. I prayed with myself in mind as well because my heart is in trouble observing and hearing my child's pain. At first it felt selfish. Then I remembered how God gave Mary comfort at the foot of the cross. He knows too my heart was hurting and will be with me.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

What is your calling? I would love to hear your answers.

This past week I was asked to lead our Bible study group, while our leader was on vacation.  We are studying the Psalms of ascent, by Beth Moore. (For those of you who have completed the study it is a beautiful study for those of you who haven't encourage you to look at it.) Of course I said yes.
I spent hours reading and reviewing the homework to make for sure that I could effectively lead. I was not prepared however to respond to a major concern of one of our participants. She explained how she didn't know a loving God like we all do. She felt left out because a harsh upbringing left her to question a loving God.  She was overtaken with being unable to make peace with the mother that fostered this belief. I was fortunate that many women in our group spoke up to comfort her. Unfortunately this monopolized the Bible study. I was torn between offering comfort and staying on track with our projected work for the week. Needless to say, I left the study feeling like I was not the leader this group needed. I was ready to throw in the towel in case I was ever asked again to lead. I am just not cut out for it.
This week's readings focused on answering your calling.  From Isaiah, "Here I am Lord, send me". This really helped me to refocus on why we should answer a call. The purpose is for the glory of God not the glory of me. As I prepared to lead the study this past week, I'm not sure that that's what my focus was on.
So I ask myself, will I lead our group again if asked? The answer is yes. The answer will be yes to other opportunities to serve. My prayer will change. I will ask God to help me serve Him for His glory not my own.
What is your calling? How do you serve God? Are you willing to say "Hear I am Lord send me"?
I would love to hear your answers.
Many Blessings to you today!
P.S. I still consider my greatest calling is to be a good mother, especially now that my children are adults.