This past week I was asked to lead our Bible study group, while our leader was on vacation. We are studying the Psalms of ascent, by Beth Moore. (For those of you who have completed the study it is a beautiful study for those of you who haven't encourage you to look at it.) Of course I said yes.
I spent hours reading and reviewing the homework to make for sure that I could effectively lead. I was not prepared however to respond to a major concern of one of our participants. She explained how she didn't know a loving God like we all do. She felt left out because a harsh upbringing left her to question a loving God. She was overtaken with being unable to make peace with the mother that fostered this belief. I was fortunate that many women in our group spoke up to comfort her. Unfortunately this monopolized the Bible study. I was torn between offering comfort and staying on track with our projected work for the week. Needless to say, I left the study feeling like I was not the leader this group needed. I was ready to throw in the towel in case I was ever asked again to lead. I am just not cut out for it.
This week's readings focused on answering your calling. From Isaiah, "Here I am Lord, send me". This really helped me to refocus on why we should answer a call. The purpose is for the glory of God not the glory of me. As I prepared to lead the study this past week, I'm not sure that that's what my focus was on.
So I ask myself, will I lead our group again if asked? The answer is yes. The answer will be yes to other opportunities to serve. My prayer will change. I will ask God to help me serve Him for His glory not my own.
What is your calling? How do you serve God? Are you willing to say "Hear I am Lord send me"?
I would love to hear your answers.
Many Blessings to you today!
P.S. I still consider my greatest calling is to be a good mother, especially now that my children are adults.